The following is an excerpt from Habitudes, “Images That Form Leadership Habits and Attitudes,” by Dr. Tim Elmore.  “I once heard of a teenage girl who lived in Alaska.  She had joined a local youth group but was struggling with her values and ethics.  Part of her wanted to do what was right.  Another part of her was still rebellious.  One day, she went to see her youth director.  She described her dilemma this way.  It was like there were two husky dogs inside her fighting all the time-one good and one bad.  She felt the pull of these forces all day.  These “dogs” were constantly struggling to control her.  Finally, her youth director asked, “Which of the two dogs is stronger?”  She thought for a moment.  Then, it was like a light bulb went on inside of her. She said, “I guess whichever dog I feed the most.”    

She finally was able to answer her own question, the “dog” she fed the most was the one that was getting her attention, whether it be good or bad.  Paul struggled with this same dilemma, and wrote about it in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”   He goes on to summarize that he follows the law of God with his mind but that his flesh serves the law of sin.  That in itself is the conflict that dwells within every Christian.  This is also the struggle that faces most of our children today, no matter what their age.  Our goal as parents is to help our children in this struggle by encouraging them to avoid the negative and focus on the positive.  Feed the positive and starve the negative!

Which Dog is Your Child Feeding?

One way in which you can “feed” the positive is by being aware of what your children are watching on tv, listening to on their electronic devices, and monitoring their social media.  “Feed the positive” with encouraging, thoughtful, and compassionate messaging.  Today’s children are constantly being saturated with characters in the media that have no moral compass, no ethical ability to reason, and no family values.  There’s no room for negative thoughts or images for our children.  Don’t feed into the negative frenzy.   It’s time for parents to recapture our nation’s moral conscience.  Hopefully, you have made conscious decisions about the outside forces that contribute to the emotional and spiritual development of your child.   

Here are a few positive phrases that you can share with your child:

• You make me smile
• That was a good choice
• You solved the problem all by yourself
• What you did was brave
• That took a lot of courage, I’m so proud of you
• You can learn from your mistakes
• You are so thoughtful
• You are a good friend
• You are working really hard
• You matter to me and to this world, you are important

These are just a few positive phrases that will “feed” your child and give them the confidence they need to succeed.

Try This Exercise

An exercise you might try with your children is to watch a television show together, or listen carefully to the lyrics of a popular song and then have a discussion about what you are seeing and hearing. Are you seeing positive and encouraging information or negative and demoralizing information?  Once you ask your child to be aware of the information they are putting into their minds, they may be more selective in the future.  It is my prayer that your children will have that “a hah” moment and discover that they are feeding the good “husky dog” and not the bad one.  

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