As I was shelving books in our church library one day and I came across the book, The Parent’s Toolshop by Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW. It’s actually a huge workbook filled with creative ideas on parenting. I opened the book and discovered that I had landed in the chapter dealing with behavior and discipline. The Bible is clear to point out that discipline is necessary for spiritual growth and character development. (. . . but he who loves his son (daughter) is careful to discipline him (her). Proverbs 13:24)
“He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.” (Proverbs 13:18) Below are 5 steps that might help to prevent bad behavior.
- “Notice children being “good.” Encouragement helps children feel good about themselves and produces a sense of confidence. When your child does something “good”, make an effort to point out their behavior, their kindness to a friend or whatever good they have done. Don’t let a good deed go unnoticed. But be careful not to give false praise, be sure it is specific and justified.
- “Show unconditional love.” Don’t make your love conditional, as if I will only love you if you do so and so. The love for your child should have no boundaries.
- “Spend time with your child.” Prevent the negative attention-seeking behavior by spending time with your child. By doing so, you will fulfill the need for negative attention.
- “Focus on internal approval and motivation.” Help your child to create a positive self-image by pointing out the things that your child does well. For instance, you might say, “Wow, I really like the way you made your bed this morning, and I didn’t even have to ask you.” Another suggestion might be, “Thanks for taking out the garbage you noticed that the trash cans were
getting full and I appreciate you doing that.” Try to be specific when you provide positive feedback. - “Build team work.” Create a cooperative teamwork approach at home. When doing chores around the house, children need to believe that their contribution to the overall well being of the family is important. Perhaps you could ask your child for help, for instance you might say, “Hey, could you help me do the laundry, let’s sort the clothes and then you can start the washer.”
Hopefully, these suggestions will help create a more positive environment in your home. May God bless you and keep you. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalms 32:8
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
We’ve all been told to “think before you speak”. There is a reason that for, if we take a moment to think about what we are about to say before we just blurt out what we are thinking, we may be better able to handle the response from the other person. Here is a great way to remember the power of words and to think about what you are going to say by using the letters in the word, THINK.
Start with the T, before you speak, think, is it true?
“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”
Proverbs 12:22
Next H, is it helpful?
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:4
Then I, is it inspiring?
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Then N, is it necessary?
“Teach me knowledge and good judgement.”
Psalm 119:66
And finally K, is it kind?
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32
Please take the time to talk to your children about what they are saying either to you, a friend, or to a teacher and ask them the 5 THINK questions. Is what you are saying; true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind?
Words that are true and kind have a way of softening any situation.
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
Mother Teresa
For additional resources and inspirations go to the resource page.
“If God created families to nurture us, then He designed brothers and sisters to protect us. Building strong families means that brothers and sisters look out for each other, and not just in physical ways. A sibling has given you emotional support and protection more often than you can count, and you have probably done the same for your own brother or sister.” Siblings have a unique opportunity to show their love and support for their families in a variety of ways. For instance, a brother may show his support of his sister by attending a sporting event in which she is a participant. In the same way, a sister may show her support to her brother by offering advice on what he should wear to the school dance. Whatever the circumstance, brothers and sisters need each other and parents need to foster that relationship by emphasizing how important family members are to each other.
When our youngest daughter, Christine was about 10 years old, she got my attention by saying, “Mom, Alex is being nice to me!” I thought to myself, that is a good thing. It is a fantastic display of family support when siblings are actually nice to each other. Christine was not feeling well that particular day and Alex, my younger son was trying to be nice to her and help her out. On those “rare” occasions that siblings do find ways to help each other, parents should take the time to praise their efforts. Encourage them to find other ways to help support and love their siblings.
“God put you together with siblings in the first place, so you could share burdens, challenges, and victories – great and small. You have a special bond because you are people linked by a common heritage, and you are people forging a common legacy.”
Children Play a Role in Building Strong Families
Below are a few key things for parents to think about when considering the needs of their siblings. Next, apply these same ideas to your children.
- “Tell your brothers and sisters how much you love and appreciate them.” Call them often or email them
- Anticipate your sibling’s needs and offer to help them as needed
- As a Christian, you share a common bond with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Remember to forgive.
- Call your siblings on their birthdays. Celebrate and reminisce about the things you shared when you were younger.
- Rejoice with your brothers and sisters when they succeed and share in their sorrows as well.
Friends may come and go in your life but family is the place you can come home to when the world does not treat you right. Theophanes Venard writes, “Happiness is to be found only in the home where God is loved and honored, where each one loves, and helps and cares for the others.” May it be so in your home.
Reference: “God Is In the Small Stuff for Your Family” by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz
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“Go to school MAD!”
Those were the words that a father yelled out to his children every day as they went off to school. Day after day he would make this request of his children, GO TO SCHOOL, MAD! The children seemed quite content and happy about going to school. Quite puzzling for the neighbor who would see the children getting on the bus with smiles on their faces. Clearly, they didn’t seem mad at all.
After several weeks of hearing this command, a neighbor decided to have a talk with the dad. “Why are you telling your children to go to school MAD?” The dad grinned and said, “Oh they are not going to school mad, or angry, instead they are going to school to MAKE A DIFFERENCE, hence, Go to school MAD!”
“Oh”, the neighbor replied, “I get it.”
What are you doing today that makes a difference? How are you teaching your children to make a difference whether they are in school, or on the playground, or playing with a friend? Can children really make a difference? The answer is a resounding YES they can make a difference.
Here are a few suggestions to help you and your children make a difference:
Be a good listener – A listening ear is a rare treasure. So often we want to interrupt and share our thoughts before the talker has a chance to finish what they are trying to say. Listening requires restraint, and compassion to allow the other person time and space to share their ideas or thoughts.
He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 18:13
Follow directions – This is not only so important for children but for adults as well. How many times have you wanted to put together an IKEA project without following directions only to discover that you have to start all over again? One of the main lessons a student learns in school is to follow directions from the teacher, if they don’t they will learn that there are consequences when directions are not followed.
Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong….
Exodus 23:2
Be respectful – RESPECT, we can spell it but do we really know how to show it? Unfortunately, the lines of respectful behavior have been crossed. When I was at school, if you saw the principal walking down the hall, you would immediately strengthen up and be quiet. Today when students see their principal walking the halls many don’t even acknowledge that there is an adult in the same hallway, much less than it is their principal. Their actions and conversations continue with little respect.
Show proper respect to everyone….
1 Peter 2:17
Share – With many students being isolated at home and away from the classroom during the pandemic, the concept of sharing may be quite new once they return to school.
And do not forget to do good and share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
Hebrews 13:16
Cooperate – Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we would all cooperate with one another?
May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus
Roman 15:5
Be compassionate – A compassionate heart is one that shares in another’s joy and sorrows, without being judgemental.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 5:32
Be a leader – Some people are just born leaders, and others become leaders out of frustration or finally accepting that they have a voice that needs to be heard. You and your child can be a leader in the schools, and in the communities in which you live. You can make a difference by supporting a local nonprofit or if you see a need that has not been met, start your own nonprofit.
Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
Romans 14:19
Be a supportive follower – If you are not gifted with leadership abilities, then recognize that being a supportive follower is just as important. A follower who encourages a leader is perhaps a wise soul that understands that each person has a responsibility to this world.
…never tire of doing what is right.
2 Thessalonians 2:13
Have patience – You can truly make a difference in someone’s life if you just have a little patience. Whether it be on the roadway or at the grocery store, just take a moment and don’t be swept away by the demands of the day. If a person cuts you off in traffic or if a classmate jumps in front of your child in line, no worries. Just let it be, there’s grace in knowing that you are in control of your response, and let that response be filled with patience and kindness. And better yet, pray for that person in traffic that they will get to their destination safely, and for the child eager to get to be first in line, just remember that we will all get there at the same time. First or last, what does it really matter?
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12
Be thoughtful – Someone who really makes a difference is someone who is thoughtful This means that they are actually thinking about other people and less about themself.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
Romans 12:3
Wherever you are and wherever you go, be MAD (Make A Difference) with a smile on your face and see how others respond. You never know, you just might help make someone MAD too!
I want to leave you with these final words from Philippians 4:8:
Whatever is true,
Whatever is noble,
Whatever is right,
Whatever is pure,
Whatever is lovely,
Whatever is admirable
-If anything is excellent or praiseworthy
-think about such things.
Be willing to go out into the world and make a difference, or in today’s world, you can still make a difference from your home. The possibilities are endless.
Peace be with you!
The relationship between a mother and daughter is a beautiful thing and yet many times it can be complicated and complex. However, the most meaningful aspect of any relationship is the legacy of love that is shared and passed on from generation to generation. Many years ago I attended the funeral service of a dear, sweet friend. I was so moved by the message of remembrance given by my friend’s daughter that I wanted to share her thoughts with you.
Her daughter slowly made her way to the podium and very tenderly spoke of the special bond of love shared between her mom and dad. Their relationship was one of mutual love and respect. She shared several passages from Ephesians.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ….”
Ephesians 5:21-33
This special couple had been married for over 65 years. As high school sweethearts, they knew from the very beginning of their relationship that they would be together forever. They were devoted to each other and their marriage but also as important in their devotion was their love for their family.
As I listened to their daughter speak and share stories, there was a true sense of family togetherness. As a mother of four children, my friend delighted in seeing her children grow into wonderful young adults building families of their own. Nothing gave her more joy than seeing her children and grandchildren carry on the legacy of love that she and her husband had created many years ago.
The word, love seemed to resonate through the memorial service, the love of two people sharing a life together, the love of a mother devoted to her family, and the love of faith in Jesus Christ.
Her daughter shared many stories about her mom, but there was one story that many mothers can appreciate. My dear friend liked to teach her children many different life skills, one particular skill was the art of sewing. Sewing was a bit of a challenge for her daughter as she had a mind of her own. She decided not to listen to her mother’s instructions on how to layout a dress pattern. Thinking she knew better than her mom, her daughter decided to cut the pattern out her own way only to discover that when she cut the pattern out it was cut way too short. She soon discovered that there was a big slit up the backside of the skirt of the dress. Not wanting her mother to discover the mistake, the daughter somehow managed to scotch tape the slit together and never mentioned the mishap to her mother.
But of course, moms somehow know everything! Whenever the dress was washed, it always came back with a fresh piece of scotch tape connecting the skirt together.
I wanted to share this example because I believe that many times moms and even dads tell their children to do certain things to avoid the pitfalls of life. However, when the children decide to go off on their own, making their own choices, they must learn how to deal with the consequences of their choices. And yet, there are those Godly moms and dads, that quietly understand that these moments are not the time to belittle or get upset with their children, instead they quietly and respectfully guide them without saying, “I told you so…!” Just like that little piece of tape that said volumes. Knowing when to hold your tongue and when to speak are the first steps to Godly parenting.
“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” or
“Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.”
Proverbs 21:23
As the daughter concluded her remembrance, she read from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Now most of us might think of this passage as something that would be read at a wedding ceremony. However, she read the first passage, and then she read it again replacing the word “love” with her mother’s name. “My mom was patient and kind, she was not jealous or boastful, not arrogant or rude. She did not insist on her own way, she was not irritable or resentful, she did not rejoice at wrong but rejoiced at right.”
Wow! How powerful was that? I would like to ask you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 to your family and see if you could replace your name in those same areas.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Being a parent calls for unconditional love every day. God wants us to be patient, kind, gentle, and not rude or arrogant. As we put our trust in Jesus every day to guide us to making Godly decisions for our family, remember this, “So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” How are you loving your family today? Are you showing patience, kindness, trust, or perhaps self-control? The love that you share today may be the remembrance your children will have for you tomorrow. Something to think about. I pray today that you will be a loving parent.
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.”
John 13:34
The greatest gift we can give each other is love!
For more inspirations and resources please go to the resource page.
Many years ago when our children were younger, my husband purchased several books for me on how to develop new and creative learning experiences for our growing children. I made the choice to be a stay at home mom when our first daughter was not quite eighteen months old. It was not an easy decision, I thought I could do it all, be the working mom with a successful career. However, I soon discovered with the demanding hours of my job, it was impossible to be the mother that I wanted to be and therefore something had to change. With that in mind, I resigned from my job.
This was the decision that would work best for our family. In time our family grew and we were blessed with four fabulous children. That decision proved to be the most rewarding and yet the most exhausting time of my life and yet, I wouldn’t change a thing about it!
Your First Experience with Learning
I realized that our home was their first experience with learning, and it was up to me to establish a home where exploring, creating and finding new ways to discover God’s great creation was a priority.
One of the first books I read was, Teach Me Mommy, A Preschool Learning Guide, by Jill Dunford. The book was set up with simple, weekly activities geared towards children ages 3-5 years old. It was a wonderful resource to help me get started with building a valuable parent/child relationship.
Another great resource I used with our children was, Weekday Programs for Children, Teacher’s Guide. This particular resource was more faith based. Each activity and lesson had a goal in mind and seeked ways to teach values for Christian living in the home. Some of those values were, “love, faith, hope, sharing, caring, forgiveness, honesty, obedience and responsibility,” all are so important for children to learn at an early age. These values will set a foundation for children as they grow into adulthood.
In today’s world there is Pinterest and various other resources on the internet that can help mothers, and fathers gather information to help foster learning and experiences of wonder for their children. And, yet sometimes just some simple advice and suggestions from grandma, can also be very helpful.
That’s why as a mother of four and grandmother of four, I wanted to share with you some simple daily activities you can do with your children or grandchildren.
Daily activities to do at home
Below you will find seven days (plus 2 extra bonus ideas) of fun and faithful activities. There is a Bible verse to focus on for the day and a few fun activities that you can do in your own home or outside in your neighborhood.
Day 1
“Love is patient and kind…” 1 Corinthians 13:4
Activity: Roll a ball, underhand toss a ball, roll a ball to different objects, pass a ball and catch, allow each family member to take a turn rolling, tossing and catching.
Run in place, jump up and down, do 10 jumping jacks
Play your favorite music, run around, skip or walk quickly then freeze when the music stops.
Have fun today, be patient with one another. Share lots of hugs!
Day 2
“He “God” cares about you”…1 Peter 5:7
Activity: Draw a picture of your house and write your street address, memorize your address.
Everyone sits in a circle and each person tells something that he or she likes to do. Then repeat it, for example, “mom likes to bake banana bread”, then your child would say, “mom likes to bake banana bread and (child’s name) likes to play with legos”, the next child (if more than one in the family) would say “mom likes to bake banana bread and (child’s name) likes to play with legos and (child’s name) likes to dance”…(or whatever you choose)… keep going with other family member’s names. See how long you can go without someone forgetting.
Play the “Hokey Pokey”, “I put my right hand in, I put my right hand out, I put my right hand in and I shake it all about….
Sometimes it’s just fun to be silly and laugh! Remember to have fun, laugh and enjoy being together.
Day 3
“Let all you do, be done in love…” 1 Corinthians 16:14
Activity: Go outside and trace your body on the sidewalk or driveway. Each person takes a turn tracing the other person. Next, color it in..then take a walk around the neighborhood and find things that are tall and short. (for instance, flowers, trees, or doors and windows of houses)
Have mom or dad make some homemade biscuits and see if they rise and get tall when they bake.
https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/easy-self-rising-biscuits-recipe
Day 4
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing” Psalm 127:3
Activity: Plan an indoor picnic, everyone helps to set up the room with a blanket, making the food, and preparing the drinks. Then everyone helps to decide which movie to watch. Before the movie, talk about how we need to care for each other, list some things that you can do to help each other out, even when we are sick, what can we do to show each other that we care for one another. As a family, we love each other and are patient with each other.
Day 5
“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have…” Hebrews 13:16
Activity: First, talk about what the word good means to you and your family. So often I will hear a parent tell a child to “be good,” and yet I wonder if the child really knows what being “good” means. Does that mean following directions, listening to an adult, helping out a friend or just doing the right thing? Each child takes a toy from their room and shares it with another, let your brother or sister play with your toy for the day, then ask them why they liked playing with it. If you have only one child, ask them to donate a toy, (be sure to sanitize the toy or perhaps you could go to the toy store to purchase a new toy to donate to a shelter) Do something good today for mom or dad, help set the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner, clean up your room, take quiet time without bothering anyone, read quietly in your room. Do something good!
Day 6
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” Ecclesiastes 3:11
Activity: Fall is the most beautiful season, the colorful leaves show off God’s wonderful creation. Go on a nature walk and pick up some fallen leaves. Come back home and make a leave print. Take a piece of white paper and fold in half, next take your leaf and put it in the middle of the fold, then take a crayon and color over the leaf. See what a beautiful leaf you have. Or you can take a piece of wax paper and fold in half, then put your leaf in the middle of the fold and use an iron on low heat and iron your leaf print.
Pretend you are a bird or a squirrel, a bird will fly south where it is warm for the winter and a squirrel will gather up supplies for the cold winter months.
Talk about the change in seasons and what happens to animals during the winter months. Perhaps you could stop by a local lawn and garden store and purchase some tulip bulbs or another flower that will bloom in the spring. Plant the bulbs and then wait, watch and prepare for the amazing timing in which the flower will bloom. In time, all is beautiful!
Day 7
“It is good to give thanks to the Lord” Psalm 92:1
Activity: Make a thankful tree, trace out a tree on a piece of paper. Next draw a leaf shape on separate pieces of colorful construction paper or whatever paper you have available. Then write down all the things you are thankful for and place on the tree. Each day take a leaf off the tree and talk about what you are thankful for and why. If we teach our children to have an attitude of gratitude, their lives will be filled with joy in the most simplest of things. Try to incorporate the words, “thank you” in your daily conversations. Find ways to thank each other for something each day!
Extra Bonus – Two more ideas!
Day 8
“Protect me, O God, I trust in you for safety”…
Activity: Talk about ways to stay safe at home and outside, (no running out into the street, watch for cars, be careful of people that you do not know…)
Draw a picture of ways to be safe..(make a stop sign or traffic light, wear a bike helmet when riding your bike, hold mom or dad’s hand when you cross the street)
Make your own personal pizza with either an English muffin or a plain/or everything bagel, add some sauce and cheese, bake in a toaster oven and have mom or dad use hot pot holders to take it out when the pizza is done. Use the pot holders to keep your hands safe from the heat of the oven.
Day 9
“Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another” Ephesians 4:32
Activity: Everyone gets a puzzle and sees who can put the puzzle together first, or get a big floor puzzle and everyone takes a turn putting a piece of the puzzle together. Remember to be patient and kind, each one taking a turn.
These are just a few ideas to help you create a loving, supportive and creative home environment for your family.
1 Timothy 3:4
4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
